Looking out onto the horizon….

I want to start this post by apologizing for my last entry. After reading it, I thought I was rather rude to my followers. I should have explained more how I felt. I think I am going through some sort of mid-life crisis. I have been really snarky lately and not very patient.

You see I am (gulp) 47 years old and have no direction. I left my career as a Programmer Analyst with a Fortune 10 company about 9 years ago to raise my precious daughter. My days were filled with playgroups, mommy and me activities, taking her to and from school. Now my days are filled with being her taxi and personal assistant. How did this happen?

My child had the nerve to grow-up. She needs her momma less now. I feel more like the sideline cheerleader to her life other than the main character. She is ten and wants to do everything by herself and we are in a power struggle almost everyday. I don’t want to give up control and she wants to be in the driver’s seat. I feel sorry for my husband because he has been getting in the middle of this struggle. Poor guy. I want her to stay the three year old who needed me for everything. From getting dressed in the morning to what should she eat. If I can’t handle her being ten, god knows what I am going to be like when she goes to college. I need a new purpose in life. One that will fulfill me and give me something to forward to.

What can a 47 year old dwarf woman who has been out of the workforce for nine something years do? I am thinking about going back to school. I have been taking a few community college classes to brush up on my programming skills. I honestly don’t like programming but you always fall back to what you know. It is rather tedious work and under appreciated. I thought of getting a degree in history. I love learning about life in the past and how it can impact the future. The only problem what can you do with a degree in history? I really don’t want to be a teacher. Another truly under appreciated profession. I would probably get fired anyway if I was a teacher. I would be telling the parents what I really thought of their precious child. It would not go over well.

Motivation is what I need the most. I need to stop feeling like a cow that has been put out to pasture. I need to tap into my inner youth who was not afraid to try and do anything. A new chapter should start instead of feeling like ending. I will keep you posted on this journey. I am sure it will be a lot of laughs.

In other news, I am going to be updating this blog with new graphics and more tales of what is it really like to be four foot tall and a mom. I still owe you the story of how me and my husband met, adventures in grocery shopping and why dwarfs hate being recognized as someone else. The later is a pet peeve of mine.

Until then have fun and enjoy the weather.

Thanks for listening!

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